Monday, April 19, 2010

Six months

Today marks the six-month anniversary of giving birth to Jackson. In some ways it feels like an eternity and in other ways it feels like it was just yesterday. I'll never forget the way it felt to hold him and see how absolutely beautiful and perfect he was.

I know its only a date, but today is a hard day. Brent and I can't help but wonder what he would be like now, what he would be doing and how far along he would have come in his development --- rolling over, sitting up, maybe even giving some thought to crawling. We miss him more than words can describe, and I know that will never change.

We've made some big strides though. Its been a long road and quite the learning experience, but the initial pain has gotten easier.  I am so happy winter is finally over. I think it was the longest winter of my life. The start of spring has given me more of a feeling of a fresh start and renewed sense of hope. This picture was made for us by another angel mommy a couple of weeks ago, and for me it couldn't have come at a better time -- a beautiful picture of spring flowers and butterflies. It feels like a nice breath of fresh of air with Jackson as a huge part of it.

All the support we've had through the past six months has meant everything. I know Brent and I wouldn't be where we are today with out it. I feel blessed to have met so many other angel families going through the same thing. All of them amaze me at how strong they are. Of course, I have to give a special shout out to our support-group couples. They are an awesome group of people and even though what brought us together is nothing we would have ever wished for, I'm glad they have been along with us on this journey.

Unfortunately our out-of-town plans for next weekend have been postponed. But on a good note about that I will be walking in the March for Babies. The team I will be walking with was formed by Angela Donaldson, our amazing Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer. She lost her beautiful baby Ethan in 2008, so we will be walking in memory of him, Jackson and all angel babies. Angela designed T-shirts for the team, and was kind enough to include Jackson's name on the back. It's still not too late to donate or sign up for a walk near you. If you would like to donate to Angela's team, click here. Hopefully next week I will have a wonderful story to share about the event!


  1. Thinking about you and Brent and Jackson today, Rebecca. Love, Ginny

  2. It has been a long six months. We think of you, Brent, and Jackson everyday. We also wonder what Jackson would be doing at this point in time, and miss our grandson. I am so glad that spring is helping to renew your spirits. Can't wait to see you next weekend. Love, Mom and Dad

  3. Rebecca,
    I just caught up with your blog and your knitting project. Maybe I'll learn how to knit! I read a book called the Friday Night knitting club and wanted to learn, now I have a true motivation. You know I think of you every day. We will see you next weekend! Hopefully, no volcano eruptions.
    Aunt Jodi