Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Happy Birthday, Jackson

Dear Jackson,

A year ago today I said hello and goodbye to you all within a 24 hour period. You were the most wonderful thing I ever held in my arms, and I'll never forget how that felt. I'll never forget how beautiful you were and how peaceful you looked. If I could, I would have held you forever. And there's not a day that goes by that I miss you any less.

It hurts beyond words how much your daddy and I wish you were here with us to celebrate. I wish I could see you get messy trying to eat some birthday cake. I wish I could watch you open presents and delight in new toys.

I want you to know Jackson, that we are celebrating your life and the happiness you brought us when you were with us. I'll never forget how it felt to you have you kicking around inside of me --- and sometimes it is those happy moments I think about that keep me going.

We will be eating birthday cake today, and as hard as it is, trying to have a fun day honoring you.

I do know this. I do know you are happy where you are, and I try to imagine the party I hope the angels are throwing for you today. Someday, you will have to tell me all about it.

So, to my beautiful boy, happy 1st birthday!

I love you,

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Remembering with a wave of light

I think it's wonderful October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I'm glad there is a whole month dedicated to it. The problem, of course, is getting the word out. A year ago, I had no idea there was a month dedicated to this. How would I know? But I think more and more parents affected by a loss are trying their hardest to not let it slide by or be overshadowed.

Friday, Oct. 15 has been dedicated as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It is on this day grieving parents, families and friends come together to create a wave of light across the nation and the world. In order to do this, please light a candle (in whatever time zone you may be) from 7 to 8 p.m. to remember our babies. Check out www.october15th.com --- they have great information on what this day means. I would definitely check out the video of the House of Representatives discussing this day.

Of course, there are many different ways to remember your baby this month. Brent and I had the privilege of participating in a Walk to Remember last weekend at Clement Park. It was amazing how many people were there -- parents who lost children, and those just willing to show up to support their loved ones. It included a ceremony where each baby's name was read and a balloon was released in there honor. Quite emotional, but wonderful to do. We also received "awareness" bracelets from the organization. Brent and I have committed ourselves to wearing the bracelets everyday for the month of October. And last night, we actually had someone ask us about them! How happy I was to be able to share and educate.

Also, it is not too late to add your face to www.iamtheface.org. They have even included a place for dads to add their photo.

How are you honoring your baby this month? I would love to hear from you! And don't forget to join us in the wave of light on Oct. 15.

Brent and I at Walk to Remember

Some of the balloons released in memory of our babies

Jackson's name in the Walk to Remember program