Saturday, October 19, 2013

Happy Fourth Birthday!

It's time again for your annual birthday letter, sweet baby. I can't believe it's been a year since I wrote on your blog -- time has flown by this past year. But not a day goes by that I don't think about you.

I want to thank you again for sending us another sunny day on your birthday. It always helps me get through the day and feel a little bit better. The day you were born, it was cloudy, rainy and cold. But every year since then you have given us cloudless days and the beautiful sun to shine down on us! We went on a family bike ride and picnic this morning. We always love our family time on your birthday and being outside to celebrate you!

It's been four years since I held you in my arms for that brief moment in time. It felt like nothing I had experienced before -- a perfect baby to bring me complete joy yet complete sadness at the same time. I will never forget that feeling, and so look forward to the day I can hold you again.

Your little sister Eva helped me bake your cake and she is very excited to celebrate. She's a master at singing happy birthday now. I bet your little brother Luke will gobble your cake down, too. Its been fun to watch them grow together this past year, and there are a lot of days I imagine you playing along right beside them. And my guess is you probably are! I do think it's pretty cool sometimes they have a little angel for a brother.

Your dad and I were just talking last night what it would be like to have our little four-year-old Jackson running around. We wonder what you would look like now, what your favorite toys would be and your favorite things are to do. We sure miss not knowing, but I do know you certainly would be beautiful.

Well, dearest one, just know you are always in my heart and never far away from me. I miss you like crazy!



  1. Hi: I came across your blog while searching for quotes for my Facebook page. On March 29, 2002, at 40 weeks, I went into labor. Once settling in, we found out our daughter had died. I continued to labor for the next 8 hours while we made arrangements. It's nice to know that my feelings of "going back" and holding her a bit tighter are not crazy. I still miss the thought of her, even after having three children. Thank you for your blog!!

  2. Hi Rebecca,

    I happened to come across your site days after my angel went to heaven. I was looking for poems for my daughter Ravyn's cards for the funeral and the poems you had hit me hard. I read your story. It was very similar to mine. I too was 38 weeks and had a beautiful pregnancy. Never did I think it would end this way. It is two weeks and a day since she came and left. I looked at the photo of you, your husband and Jackson and noticed your husband's T shirt said 'Colorado' and realized you were also from Colorado.

    Your blog has given me some peace knowing that I'm not alone in my thoughts and what I am going through.

    If it is possible, it would be nice to talk to you or even learn more about your support group.

    Thank you,
    Cindy D.