Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Happy 2nd Birthday, Jackson

Dear Jackson,

Today is your second heavenly birthday. As I write this, I sit here wondering what you are doing right now. What kind of birthday party they are throwing for you up in Heaven. I imagine all your other little baby angel friends are celebrating with you too. I hope they made one awesome cake for you!

Daddy and I can't help but wonder what you would be like right now. How much you would be talking, running around wild, tearing up the house -- and most of all how cute you would be.

I can't believe I've survived another year without you, but I did. Somedays are still incredibly hard. I miss you terribly and you are always just one thought away. I can't help but think about holding you again in the hospital -- what it was like to give birth to you. Daddy said you were very warm when you came out and you almost felt alive. I don't remember that, but daddy says I did a good job keeping you cozy.

You know the best thing that happened this year is your baby sister! I know you love her so much. Sometimes I can feel you watching over her. I'm so glad she has you as her guardian angel. She is even wearing her "Jackson's Little Sister" shirt today. We've shown her pictures of you, and she liked them. I think she saw the resemblance! I know in time she will know all about you, too.

We are doing our best to celebrate today. I baked you cake and tried to decorate it. I actually managed to write "Jackson" on it, along with a butterfly. (I still think of you every time I see a butterfly). And included some sprinkles. We may go for a nice fall walk, too. You brought the sun out today again, and Daddy and I are both grateful for that. We will take the time to look at your pictures, and right now daddy is playing the beautiful song he wrote for you on the guitar.

You will always be our beautiful boy. We miss you and can't wait to see you again someday. Have fun up there today!


XOXOXO,
Mommy

5 comments:

  1. God's love and our prayers, hugs, and smiles, From Wausa - Adam, BethAnn, and Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no words. What a beautiful little boy Jackson is in the above picture. I'm sure he is looking down on you right now on his 2nd birthday and is so happy for you and his little sister. It is a wonderful thing that you are doing knitting blankets and writing this blog for other parents to help ease their pain a little. I wish you all health, happiness and joy! Happy birthday, little Jackson!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Our hearts still ache for you and Brent, and we miss our grandson. I feel lucky that I was able to see him and hold him, he was such a beautiful baby. I am grateful that you have pleasant thoughts of him in heaven, and I am grateful that God has blessed you with this past year with his little sister. Love, Mom

    ReplyDelete
  4. We love you guys. Thinking of you today, and as always admiring your strength. What a wonderful mommy you are!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jackson is so beautiful and I love his name. I found your blog on the Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope website. My daughter, Lily Katherine, was stillborn at fullterm on March 16, 2010. So her second birthday is coming up as well. I'm dreading it. ughh, how different I wish it was to be. A day of only joy, not sorrow mixed with joy. Sometimes I wish I had gotten Lily cremated, rather than buried so I could have her with me all the time. Now she is buried in my hometown, another state, and I rarely get to visit. I also haven't been able to afford a headstone for her. I am a single 22 year old. I'd love to have you follow along on my blog as well: www.roseandherlily.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete