Saturday, April 23, 2011


So here I am -- a year-and-half out from loosing my son and already experiencing most of the holidays without him for a second time. This time around is a bit easier. I've had the strength to get out of bed this time, and even find some enjoyment out of the celebrations.

But the fact of the matter is there is always someone missing. There will always be the empty seat at the dinner table on Thanksgiving, presents I don't get to buy at Christmas, the one Easter basket I don't get to fill. I wish Jackson was here to do all these things for, but instead I will have to go on missing him.

Jackson would have been 18 months old just a few days ago. I can only imagine how cute he would be now -- how fun this Easter would have been to watch him look for eggs and the celebration he would have enjoyed at church (although I'm guessing the celebration in Heaven is way more awesome than we can even imagine).

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I want to honor him when holidays come around. Brent and I usually light a candle in a cool lantern we bought in Switzerland (doubly cool because that was the trip we officially decided we were ready to start our family). But in some ways I want to come up with something unique for each holiday.

To all the angel parents out there -- is there anything unique you do? I would love to hear any one's ideas.

If you  recently lost a child, the holidays suck. There's no way around it. Hang in there and know I'm thinking about you!

Have a blessed Easter.

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