Gratitude

I apologize it has been so long since my last post... A lot has happened in my life, and although it's no excuse for not writing, getting around to it has been a challenge. But I am back now and hopefully can continue to be more consistent with it.

The reason for such a delay is that I had a baby. A live baby! I didn't believe I would actually be holding her in my arms alive until she came out crying. But she is healthy, beautiful and I couldn't ask for anything more. Of course, having her is such an emotional ride. I only wish Jackson could be here to play with his little sister. Although this makes me incredibly sad, I know my little girl has Jackson as a guardian angel and will always be watching out for her from Heaven. And she will always know about her brother and what an important member of our family he is to us.

The birth of my daughter has filled me with nothing but gratitude. After Jackson's death, my husband and I wondered if we would ever have children. We both feel completely blessed that we get to have her here on Earth. The sense of relief we have is indescribable. We thank God every day for her and we are confident God does have a plan for us that he is fulfilling.

No one will ever replace Jackson, and my heart continues to ache and will always ache for him. But I am experiencing a happiness I didn't think would ever come.

I want to offer those who have lost a child hope. There is always hope. If you just lost a child, I know this is incredibly hard to believe. I too did not have a lot of hope for a long time. Sometimes the journey is long ... way too long. But in the end I wish for all those who have lost a child to never loose hope and eventually something good will come, no matter what form that will be. I wish that you too will one day experience the gratitude I am now feeling.

This blog and mission will always be dedicated to my son, and I plan to continue this for a long time. It is time for me to pick up my needles again and work towards another donation. If you are knitting with me, please continue to do so! Your participation in this is much needed and I know we are touching lives.

Our baby girl Eva by one of her brother Jackson's Christmas ornaments.