I've been working on this site now for the last several weeks, and trying to get it "just so." It has really taken a lot of time and effort, and it is something that I want to be proud of, and especially, reach people with. It is not quite where I want it to be, but I know that it will get there and I feel comfortable enough with it now to put it out there. I have all the pages up I was planning on for now -- the information on them are not quite complete (I still have a lot of things I need to add), but I know I can slowly keep at it. I am still playing around with the design, and hope to improve the pages' look and feel.
Honestly, I don't really know how I came up with this idea. At some point in the past couple of months I realized I needed some kind of creative outlet for my grief. However, I knew I wanted my outlet to be something that could make a bit of an impact, and help people who have suffered (or will suffer) the same kind of loss that I have. When we were in the hospital, every little act of kindness meant everything. Every little gift, no matter how small, brought us a bit of comfort. Thanks to many people we know, did not know and know now and those we have never met, we have lots of mementos we can remember Jackson with. I tried to think of something that I could contribute to families of stillborn babies while they are still in the hospital, thus, for some reason, knitting baby blankets came to mind. There is nothing better than wrapping up in a nice, cozy warm blanket. I always feel more comforted, warm and peaceful. Every blanket we got for Jackson I was so excited to use. I imagined swaddling him in them, laying them on the floor so he could play on them and mostly just snuggling with him in my arms. We kept the Winnie-the-Pooh receiving blanket we had Jackson wrapped up in while in the hospital, and I still hold it almost everyday.
A few years ago, I tried to pick up knitting. I pretty much taught myself, with a few tips from my mother-in-law. Unfotunately, I never got past scarves and at some point put the needles down. I thought knitting would be a somewhat comforting thing -- it doesn't take a lot of energy and I can pretty much do it whenever. Once I came up with the idea, I wanted to get started right away. I felt (and still feel) I didn't have the patience to take a class, learn a pattern, etc ... so for my first blanket, I just started knitting away. I made my best guess on how many stitches to cast on, and went on my way. I dropped a few stitches with my first attempt, and ended up undoing the whole thing. I went out and bought some longer needles, and the second try has been going much, much better. I estimate I am just over halfway on blanket No. 1. There's nothing fancy to it. Maybe as time goes on my blankets will get a little fancier, but I really just want something to bring a little bit of comfort to a family. I am trying to aim for receiving-blanket size.
